I hope you enjoy my mini-movie and transcript, below. Oh yeah, I was going for the Oscar by playing multiple characters– It reminded me of being a protean in “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”.
Blessings.
~NMRK
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I began quietly crying from the moment I sat down and never stopped until we left the private room. He was trying to be tough, but quickly softened. We slightly argued… he apologized and agreed to pay half of my remaining car payment then wrote a check for $1099.09. The gentle, soft-spoken mediator guided us through paper work saying that they should be final by September 7th then, directed us to our next location to have papers signed.
We went through the emergency exit door and headed down the stairwell. He stopped me midway down the steps to say that he was sorry then opened his arms to hug me. He said that he hates to hate me and wants to be good friends– “I like you very much.” is what came out in a thick, Japanese accent. He hugged me some more, tightly. I was bawling, but was able to utter in a broken tone that he would always be my husband. He took my tissue to wipe my eyes then, wiped his own tears with it, and mine, again.
We left the court house, he lit a cigarette and as if on automatic pilot, walked two blocks down the street with me to my car without question. On the way, I asked if he needed a ride. He declined.
We arrived to my car door. As I turned to go, he called my name then, pulled me towards him with a troubled look on his face. He said, “I know you won’t forgive me.” I said, “I do.” “You may like me, but I will always love you.” He wrapped his arms around me and began to tightly embrace me saying, “Good luck with everything.” I told him to be happy… and safe. He then, let out a deep breath, headed out of the car park and lit another cigarette as he went around the corner and walked away.
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©2013 BitchyBuddha
I’m giving a swift kick and wallop to that insidious feeling of defeat, trying to lure me into its hot tub of hopelessness. My challenges have been exceptionally hard within the last few weeks– home life, school and now, work. I am so close to success though that I refuse to break.
I’ve been feeling poison lassoing its negativity around my brain and environment. My health has started to get affected by it– headaches, hyperventilation, a thumping in my neck… the works. The problem is that I have been trying to take on the world by myself. I have to remember that the Universe is on my side… the Lord, too, if I must go there.
It’s imperative to remember that karma will take care of my needs and those who try to block me from having them fulfilled.
I am in a near perfect storm, but will keep wearing my floatie devices called faith and determination that are wrapped around each arm and wait for them to guide me onto the shores of the beautiful island of Happiness. That place is always in close proximity. I’m staying focused on it by reminding myself of the gifts that have graced themselves upon me. I will not only make note of them for posterity, but also nourish the seeds of my future success by staking claim to them with reminders on my altar.
This show ain’t over. Keep watching the credits for the extra treats that await.
I… we will get our happy endings and win!!! Never be defeated and hang on to the positive that always makes an appearance!
Blessings!
~NMRK~
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©2013 BitchyBuddha
I am so happy to have experienced this wonderfully diverse class. Professor Bouchard has been such a golden soul, empathizing and sympathizing with her students’ challenges and frustrations. The twinkle in her eyes, but self-conscious awkwardness to publicly speak was a treat to see and truly endearing. These qualities are what made me feel safe enough to share personal information about myself… more dirt than my friends and family even know is happening. It shows her natural Continue reading
I’ve written about the adverse effects of not chanting. Today, I’m happy to share the benefits that come my way, not only by expressing mantras, but sharing the cause of Buddhism with the public. I feel pride in receiving messages from people who say that they are able to identify with my challenges– They haven’t been able to utter their woes for fear of condemnation by others who want them to “suck it up.” Let’s not forget that Continue reading
I’m paralyzed by emotional and physical clutter. I must let them go.
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